Archive for the ‘sad’ Category

I can’t stop sobbing….

July 19, 2007

Counsellor: So you both want to stay married?
Me: Yes.
Him: Well, I want “A” marriage….

March 19, 2007

She has brown eyes, scraggly hair.  She’s ten going on thirty and wants, desperately, to be liked. She knocks on our door and asks “Is Reagan home?”  If Rea is not, she steps into the kitchen and offers to wash the dishes, to help me with dinner.  We chat.  One time she tells me “I know what ‘scarred for life means;’ It means when something happens to you so bad that you can never get over it.” 

Later she says “One time when I was eight a man came to our house. He was a foreigner; he needed directions to Peoria.  He climbed in bed with me and we watched Sponge Bob, Square Pants.” 

It makes me thankful that my children’s definition of “scarred for life” is having their parents chaperone their dance; not getting to go to the movies; being ignored by a classmate.

December 19, 2006

This has been a bit of a rocky Christmas.  I have been really grumpy this month, then feeling really guilty about feeling grumpy.  Then feeling guilty that I am wasting my time feeling guilty and grumpy, when really, life is good.  My family is healthy; my husband and I both have decent jobs.  We have a house, cars (knock on wood, they are both getting up there in years and miles) and are doing better financially (though still not great) than we have in the past. 

I have been really stressed out, though, and this brings out my anxious nature.  I wake up in the night, worrying about the future.  Not even the immediate future, but things like “what if one of the kids becomes a drug addict?”  “What if one gets in a fatal car accident?”  The kind of worrying that brings only misery.