You know how every office has an office dipshit? In my office it’s me.
First, I forgot to replace the toilet paper roll after using the last of it, and my co-worker had to wipe with a paper towel. She said “At least we have nice ones. Not scratchy.”
Friday I committed this IM snafu:
Jennifer: I spent literally over 20 min online earlier with R+E
Jennifer: trying to convince her that 11:30 til 4:00 really is 4 1/2 hours not 5 1/2 like she thought
Then I realized,Holy Shit! I meant to bitch to my friend MarySue, not to R+E herself, so now comes the wiley backtracking:
Jennifer: But it worked out!
Jennifer: Wasn’t it N. (R+E’s co-worker) who thought so?
Jennifer: M. said you agreed with her right away! (I had my co-worker M. call her and tell her that “Jennifer está correcta”) So I figured you must have agreed with me!
Jennifer: No big deal!
Jennifer: I’m glad it is correct now
Jennifer: I think we have the most confusing time sheets ever!
All day I worried that I offended R+E. Shit. Because I really, really like her. She’s super sweet and funny, just not so good at the maths. And, maybe, the English. Because no matter what I asked her, for example, ‘What time will you send H.’s time sheet?” she responded “ok.”
One of our administrators in Chicago, L., called me the other day and said, “Now that you have been a full time employee for two years, you qaulify for our 304b retirement plan.”
Me: “Um, wait a minute! I have been employed here for four years not two!”
L.: “But only full time for two?”
Me: “NO! FULL TIME FOR FOUR YEARS!”
(I was maybe getting a bit testy.)
L. “Oh, well, you can enroll in the plan now; I’m sending you the paperwork.”
Me: “Wait, no one has ever mentioned to me that a retirement plan even exists. It’s not mentioned in our manual and wasn’t mentioned as a possible future benefit when I was hired. No one informed me about it TWO YEARS AGO WHEN I REACHED THE 2 YEAR POINT!!!”
L: “Well, we don’t really have a personnel department.”
I don’t know if my anger is justified, if I’m overreacting or what. I love, love, love my job, but have seriously considered looking for a new one specifically because this one (I thought) lacked a retirement plan and I’m getting too damn old to not have one. (And, yes, I could open a ROTH IRA, etc.. but, honestly, I am LAZY and UNDISCIPLINED, plus I want matching contributions, LOL.)
Doesn’t the fact that L. is calling me about this now (2 YEARS LATE!) kind of indicate that this is a part of her job?
I guess I should concentrate on the glass half full aspect, that we actually do have a retirement plan. Now I just have to hope we continue to receive federal funding, because no funding equals no job for moi.
My daughter had a friend, Taylor, over this weekend. Taylor walked in and said “Hi, Mrs. Wood. If you weren’t married to Mr. Wood, would you date a black guy?” “Yes, Taylor, I would date anyone that was nice and respectful and a good person.” (Yah, I left off that fact that he’d have to also bring the hotness and be visually impaired so he wouldn’t notice my cellulite.) “Why do you ask?” “Well, I was dating this black guy and he was normal, not a thug or anything, but some of the AC (Apostolic Christian) women found out and they told my mom that they would ‘pray for me,’ since I’m ‘dating a black guy,’ so my parents made me break up with him.”
Oy. This is one of those tricky situations, as I don’t believe in criticizing other people’s parenting decisions, couldn’t be sure how accurate the story was (did her parents make her break up with him because the boy is black, or because she lied about dating him or wasn’t supposed to be dating at all? etc..) but I also wouldn’t be totally surprised if it was a matter of racism, either, which I find abhorrent.
I kept my comments general and spoke to Taylor and my daugther and said something like, “Well, I believe that parents make the rules about dating and, as a child you have to respect those rules, even if you disagree. In our family the dating rules are based on age appropriateness and safety, not upon race. ”
And while that was an acceptable answer, part of me, the rebellious teenager part, felt like giving her tips on dating on the down low. Another part of me wanted to totally lambaste her parent’s narrow mindedness.
I bought some of that YoPlus digestive yogurt because I had a dollar off coupon. I don’t suffer from any, um, digestive issues (to be discreet, because, yah, that’s my strong point, subtlety) so now I’m worried that if it’s supposed to prevent constipation what will it do to someone that doesn’t suffer from it? I’m a little afraid. (But it was cheap.)
My thirteen year old nephew frequently asks questions on Yahoo! Answers, usually about his psychic abilities or video games. Today I noticed he had asked this:
“How do you draw Furries?
I can’t draw well, and i like to draw Furies NOT PORNOGRAPGHY do you know any good sites/books i could look at?”
I’m a little afraid about the answers he will get, despite his insistence about “NOT PORNOGRAPGHY” (sic).
How does a thirteen year old know about Furries, btw? (I’m feeling so old!)
While I ponder that, for more Random Tuesday action, please visit Keely at the Un Mom