Even better than the “*Tractor Story.”

Over the weekend I took my nephew A. and Reagan, my fourteen year-old daughter, to watch fireworks at a nearby small town.   After the spectacle, the kids made a mad dash to the car; it must be totally uncool to go to a family event,  you know, with your family.  When I arrived at the car, I asked Reagan, “Where’s A?”   She responded, “peeing on a tree.”

When A. got done, Rea said “You better be careful.  You might get crabs doing that.”

A. incredulously replied, “Tree Crabs?”

I think Rea’s abstinence-only sex ed class may not have been very informative.

But, I must admit, I laughed all the way home about the “Tree Crabs.”

*Is it lame that I’m still making Seinfeld references?

Rea, overall, hasn’t been very fun or funny lately.   She’s a bit bored with summer and whiny.  Oh, the whining.  “Why can’t you drop us off at the mall?”  “Why can’t we go to a movie tonight?”   “Why… Why….  Why….”  She’s worse then a four year old.  Plus, I think she’s forgetting that SOME of us have to go to work the next morning.  NOT everyone can stay up late.  (Hmmm… now who sounds whiny?)

But right when living in a box down by the river starts to sound appealing,  she always redeems herself.

For example, recently a teenage relative came to stay with us for awhile.  I heard Rea talking to him while leading him around the house.  “Here’s the fridge, there’s always good food and milk to drink.  Here’s the microwave.  Don’t turn it and the toaster oven on at the same.  You’ll blow a fuse.  The bathroom is right here.  Don’t use too much TP or you have to plunge it.  My mom and dad’s room is right there.  They are pretty cool and will take good care of you.”

“Pretty cool” and “take good care of you”  are high praise from a child who is more likely to say to me “**Why don’t you trust me?”  “**Why are you so strict?”  “***Why can’t I _____, ______, or ______ like everyone else?”

(**Because you’re a teenager.)

(*** Because you might get “tree crabs”)

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10 Responses to “Even better than the “*Tractor Story.””

  1. Ms. PH Says:

    Children are always sweeter when they think you can’t hear them.

    Just curious – who gets to live in a box down by the river . . . you or Rea? Because sometimes I think that might be a nice vacation.

    • jenjw4 Says:

      Oh, I think I’m the one that needs a vacation, so the box down by the river is definitely for me!

  2. Mary Says:

    Aww, Jennifer. I almost cried. Rea can be sweet and you do take good care of her and all the children that are in your house for whatever reason. I always know you take good care of mine. And I think they think you are cool as well. (Well, in comparison to me at least.)

    • jenjw4 Says:

      MarySue,
      Thanks. I do my best.
      But I can’t imagine that they think I’m cool; maybe it’s all the “Yo mama” jokes that I tell? Or my cool plaid tie-dyed shorts?
      Jennifer

      • Mary Says:

        Jennifer, if you are making “Yo mama” jokes to *my* kids, does that mean you are making fun of me?? No wonder they think you’re cool.

      • jenjw4 Says:

        Of course not! All my “Yo Mama” jokes begin:
        “Yo Mama is skinny…”
        or
        “Yo Mama is so smart….”
        or
        “Yo Mama is so pretty…”

  3. Kyooty Says:

    Oh boy, this is wha tI have to look forward to? I was in the corner store this week and there was a 13yrold whining for her “bubby” to buy her stuffs! and oh did she whine!

    • jenjw4 Says:

      Kyooty,
      Maybe it’s not fourteen that’s the issue as much as it is my daughter! She seems to have two personalities, the lovable, easy-going side, and the whiny “oh, poor me” side.
      Jennifer

  4. Anon E. Mouse Says:

    She is 14?
    Answer her question with one of your own.
    “Why don’t YOU have a job?”

    Detasseling starts next week for my teenagers.

    • jenjw4 Says:

      Anon,
      She actually applied to detassle (TeamCorn) but they weren’t taking anymore applications, and, unfortunately, that’s the only company that seems to pick up in our area. Much of the detassling work has moved from teenagers to migrant labor.
      Jennifer

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