Random Tuesday Thoughts

My son has a project for biology class called “Cellabration;”  below the title it says “You are REQUIRED to cellabrate!”   The project parameters were typed up (literally, typed on an actual typewriter typedand then probably mimeographed to boot) and include suggestions such as “use VCR tape letters for the labels.”  WHAT?  My kids probably don’t know what VCR is, much less  “VCR tape letters.”

 The second page includes a list of organelles (which “must be 3-D, puffy paint can only be used once!” and which must be glued on “with clear glue!  No neon or colored glues!”) some of which have been crossed out, others that have been handwritten in, because, apparently cellular biology has ADVANCED since this project was concocted. 

Furthermore, all dozen or so organelles must be made from DIFFERENT “common household items.” Sheesh….  And the project must be turned in in a “clean, never used pizza box.”  Holy shit, Ms. Biology teacher, where am I supposed to get a pristine pizza box?   Should I call Casey’s (the gas station that also sells pizza in our small town) and order an invisible pizza?

Speaking of biology, my daughter recently told me they cancelled their sex ed program at the school.   Due to parent complaints.  Mind you, this is a program that DIDN’T include any discussion of homosexuality, bisexuality, transgendered persons, masturbation or birth control.  It was strictly “This is how you get pregnant.  DON’T DO IT!”  

Instead, health switched its focus to drunk driving.   Rea said they had a guest speaker that asked the group of 6th, 7th and 8th graders “How many of your parents have consumed alchohol and then driven you someplace?”

Rea said many of the kids raised their hands but she did not.

“Well, of course not!  Your mom and dad don’t drink and drive.”

“Oh, dad does.  He was drinking a beer one day and drove me over to Ashley’s when I needed a ride.”

The speaker proceded to tell them to NEVER ride in a car with someone that has been drinking, even if it’s your parent, and that you should seek out another adult and tell them that you need a ride.

First, a brief aside, I am VERY anti-drunk driving.  My dad frequently drove drunk with me (and my sisters)  and it’s a pretty big miracle that we all survived. 

And I never drink and drive.   I rarely even drink at all (see above: drunken father!)

However, I found this advice a bit, um, extreme?   I am really glad Reagan talked to me about this because obviously my very smart fourteen-year-old doesn’t have a clear idea of the difference between “nacho’s and a beer on Sunday while watching football” and someone that is endangering the lives of others.   I wonder how many other kids also didn’t understand that distinction? 

And I wonder how many of them will now be approaching the bartender at Chili’s when their mother has a margherita with dinner to say “Help!  I can’t ride home with my mother!”

It bugs the shit out of me that it puts the responsiblity to judge and react to an adult’s behavior upon the child.

Furthermore, I asked several people that I know well that all have an alcoholic parent if they would have ever gone to another adult and all said “No!”   One actually said “If I did that, I would have still been riding with my dad.  Only I would have been unconcious.”

I had my first instance of someone writing a blog post about my blog post.  So cool!  Except it’s maybe not as great when in the original post you are being a whiney, self-indulgent, PMS-y crazy person.  Anyway, check out Andrew’s blog.  It’s always interesting and he’s a great photographer.

And, to my friend K. thanks for making me laugh while doing “Happy Baby/Dead Bug Pose”happy-baby-pose1 in yoga by commenting:

 “I’m really afraid that I’m going to rip one!”

 

Thanks to Keely of the Un-mom for giving me the opportunity to wax poetic about such varying topics due to her Random Tuesday Thoughts.

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9 Responses to “Random Tuesday Thoughts”

  1. bex Says:

    as a yoga instructor, i can tell you with absolute truth, that breaking wind is so common – and not just during happy baby pose. also common: falling asleep during final relaxation. i take both as a compliment to my teaching.

    my kids aren’t in school yet, but oh … i don’t want them to have make that kind of judgment call until they are WAY out of grade school.

  2. Keely Says:

    Yeah, I’m a little gassy when I do yoga…

    That seems a little extreme. Also, they should be teaching the kids about that AND sex ed. Because their parents are probably (sadly) more likely to lecture them on the “no drunk driving” part.

    I bet Casey’s gets a LOT of requests for invisible pizzas!

  3. Katie Says:

    What is going on at that school?!? T gets the weirdest projects assigned to him!

    I am so glad that it is totally normal to feel gassy while doing yoga. Not that it will save me from mortification if that were to happen!

  4. jenjw4 Says:

    Bex,
    Thanks, that definitely makes me feel better (and Katie, too, I’m sure!).. Now is it normal to get foot cramps (in my arches) during many of the poses?

    Katie,
    Heee… heee.. you outted yourself silly! I just put “K.” which now that I think about it, Katrina, who attended the last yoga class and was next to me probably didn’t appreciate!

    Jennifer

  5. EmergePeoria Says:

    Jen:

    Great post, my favorite subject matter – the biology of farting and the best poses in which to do it.:)

  6. jenjw4 Says:

    Emerge,
    When my kids were babies I would actually put them in that position and peddle their legs (like they were bike riding) to help them when they seemed gassy!
    Hmm.. maybe I should lie on the floor and do that for awhile BEFORE yoga class?
    Jennifer

  7. Susan at Sticky,Gooey,Creamy,Chewy Says:

    My daughter has come home with projects like that before. That’s just laziness on the part of the teacher. Honestly, how much effort does it take to type out a new sheet? Probably less time than crossing out things and scribbling in notes.

    Fortunately, our schools still offer a pretty good “health” class which includes sex ed. Parents can opt their kids out of it if they want to.

    When my niece was in the 2nd grade her class had a DARE program (drug & alcohol ed). The instructor asked the kids who had parents that drank and drove. My niece raised her hand and said “My mommy drinks and drives all the time – all day long!” Her mother got a call from the school and had to come in for a conference. When she got there, she was confronted about her “drinking”. It turned out that my niece was talking about all of the coffee and sodas that she drank while she drove around all day! Ha!

  8. Jennifer Says:

    Susan,
    Oh, that’s so funny about your niece! The poor mom, though, how embarrassing! I thought it was bad when, in pre-school, my daughter answered a question about what her mother “does” and she said “Watch Law and Order.”

    Jennifer

  9. Ms. PH Says:

    Oh my god . . . I’m still laughing about VCR tape letters! I haven’t thought of those things for years! Did anyone actually use them because I could never spell out what I wanted to with the limited number of letters they provided.

    Tell Taylor he has it easy . . . during my sex ed class, we had to make representations of the male and female reproductive organs using common crafting materials such as popsicle sticks, balloons, feathers, yarn, pom-poms, glitter, and rubber bands.

    And . . . I’m feeling a little weird that the Happy Baby pose does not make me feel gassy. Maybe I’m not doing it right?

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