Maybe a librarian?

We had a nice Christmas. The kids got game systems that they love and we had the family over for Christmas. That went well, better than Thanksgiving, as there was no illicit aluminum foil thievery.

Backtracking, a couple of weeks ago I got a message that I had left some papers in a library book. I didn’t think much of it, as I often use junk mail as a bookmark, so I just waited until a book came in that the library had ordered for me. (I LOVE intra-library loan!)

BTW, I live in a very small town where the librarians know me by name; I know them; I bring them cookies; they know the names of my kids, the types of books I like to read and a couple of the librarians are fellow PTO cohorts.

(But they don’t know about my blog. Knock on wood.)

Thus, I was quite mortified when I opened the held book and a stack of papers fell out that included:
1. A late notice from our mortgage company.
2. Lab paperwork from my last doctor’s visit.
3. Half a blog post about Reagan cheerleading, in which, in an obtuse attempt to be humorous, I wrote scores of cheers in a stuffy Old English vernacular.

Including:
“Be egregious, be-e-e egregious!
Be egregious, be-e-e egregious!”

“We will, we will vanquish you!
Vanquish you!”

And my masterpiece:

“The Princes we be
Verbose to the Utmost
We will turn you to milquetoast

I am a bit embarrassed. Partially that the librarians now know my financial and health situation, but mostly that they must think I am a crazy person. Who else would think to rhyme “utmost” and “milquetoast?”

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10 Responses to “Maybe a librarian?”

  1. Sarah Says:

    Oh that is hilarious! I mean for me to read anyway! : ) I remember coming home from a date last summer and there was a read shut off notice taped to my door from my water company. So I had to excuse myself and go call the Water Co and pay the bill over the phone. Good thing he had a good sense of humor!
    I am sure they find all sorts of good stuff in the books!

  2. Rixie Says:

    Hilarious. Small town life…gotta love it. You should totally try for the Cheerleading Sponsor position next year. R would NEVER forgive you.

  3. idonotknowme Says:

    Definitely keep working on those cheers and make a whole post of them. Very good stuff.

  4. Secret Server Says:

    Sorry, Jennifer, I cannot stop laughing at this.

  5. Themis Says:

    ROFLMAO
    Poor Jennifer! I knew this will NOT stop you from going back to the library, though. That would take some incriminating photos or something equally humiliating. Ok, maybe not even that would stop you from visiting the library! (Hey, you can read books online through the library….so if it ever gets that bad, you don’t even have to go in and get hard copies!)

  6. Laura Says:

    Just imagine if you had left your porn in an old boardgame box. Then your mom gave the game to some friends of the family, who had young children who might enjoy it. America In A Box, Porn In A Box.

  7. postsimian Says:

    milquetoast. honestly?

  8. idonotknowme Says:

    Laura,

    Is that a hypothetical story?

  9. Katie Says:

    I’m sure they didn’t think anything of it.

    And if they did, I’m sure they got a good chuckle!

  10. jenjw4 Says:

    The whole thing is embarrassing but Themis is right, I’ll still go to the library as it is wonderful and free! (You know, those of us with financial problems are key library patrons. As are those of us with odd vocabularies.)

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