Last weekend was the annual Heritage Days Festival in our little town. It involves a talent show, musical acts (all Christian or Country-blech) and a carnival with rides, games, and funnel cakes. (Mmmm… funnel cakes!)

Taylor went with a couple of other boys his age. I asked him if he had fun, “Yah.” What did you do? “Nothing.” Did you ride any rides? “Yah.”

Conversing with my fourteen year old is very uninformative.

Luckily his friend B. is a chatterbox.

B. came over the next day and said “Did Taylor tell you what happened at the fair?”

Um, no.

“Some girls hit on us. One was fourteen and one was twelve. The twelve year old was really ugly but the fourteen year old was okay. The twelve year old, she said she wanted my….. you know, um…. ‘testicles.'”

So creepy!

And weird, I mean, really, testicles?

When my kids entered preschool I would be shocked when they knew something that I hadn’t taught them. It was both delightful-they were so smart- and a little sad, realizing that soon they would no longer be in the protective little bubble of mommy and daddy love, but would be influenced, sometimes negatively, by the outer world.

From pre-school to trashy girls at the fair. The time has flown.

I asked B., “So, what did Taylor do when the girls were hitting on you guys?”

“He ran away.”

Potty training at three may have been a bitch, but having a slightly immature boy is now a blessing!


12 Responses to “”

  1. mortonmalaise Says:

    He probably ran away because the little skank was going to steal his balls!

  2. Jennifer Says:

    I am wondering about the whole “testicles” thing. Not because B. is a liar, he’s not. He just began that sentence and once he got to the part “wanted my” I think his audience (me and my husband) struck him, and whatever term she used, I think he substituted with a more (to his mind) acceptable one… so I really wonder if she said “balls” or something even more crude…

  3. Ms. PH Says:

    I was thinking the same thing . . . she wanted something else entirely. I will remember these stories when I am still potty training my son at three.

    Although, apparently he already has a girlfriend, his teachers tell me. She’s an older woman (she’s already 2 and he is just 18 months). She chases him around the room trying to kiss him. He runs away screaming, “NO! NO! NO! NO!” At least I’m pretty sure that if she is trying to steal his balls, it is an entirely different kind of balls.

  4. mortonmalaise Says:

    Are you suggesting, then, that this 12-year-old girl approached your son and his friend and informed them that she wanted their nuts?

  5. postsimian Says:

    mortonmalaise is correct: The proper vernacular for saying someone wants to make out with/sleep with or (when used more sarcastically) to date a guy is “she wants my/your/his nuts.” Don’t worry, she wasn’t trying to take home a souvenir, she was trying to create, uh, memories.


  6. jenjw4 Says:

    Lovely. Twelve and fourteen just seems so young! And that seems so forward.

    I guess “back in the day” (for me,) yes, teenagers had sex, but it was with someone they were dating (usually), not with a boy picked up at the fair…

  7. Cory Says:

    12 IS really young. They were probably drunk.

  8. postsimian Says:

    Nah, I could definitely see some pubies doing this completely sober. If she was kidding around and paraphrasing her attraction, she did it around her peers (a demographic she’s comfortable with). If she meant it seriously or with intent, it’s because of one of two things: her friends or her upbringing.

    Alcohol is not the root of all WTF’s.

  9. Jennifer Says:

    “Alcohol is not the root of all WTF’s.”

    Hmm… maybe the root of all of Cory’s though…

    (and most of mine!)

  10. mortonmalaise Says:

    I was being sarcastic, obviously.

    And yes, alcohol has something to do with most of my WTF’s. Ask me sometime when I’m drunk how quantum physics is bringing religion and science closer every day.

  11. postsimian Says:

    heh, and how biology is driving it further apart?

  12. Jennifer Says:

    Unfortunately, while you were being sarcastic, it could also be the truth. I hate to think of kids that young drinking, but I fear for some it’s the reality…

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