Rattles and rifles? Pacifiers and rat poison?

Scenario: My office, inhabited by myself and my co-worker, Mary. (No, I’m not breaking the cardinal rule of blogging; “no blogging about work.”)

A knock on our door, it opens, two twenty-something salespeople enter…

Sales dude 1: “Hi, I see your sign.” (NO SOLICITORS) “But we have such a great deal; we have these GREAT super-sized ‘Tom and Jerry’ coloring books, normally they retail for $14.95 each, but you can get FOUR for the price of ONE.”

(Do little kids still watch “Tom and Jerry?” I thought Dora was all the rage with the toddler set.)

Mary: “I don’t have any kids” (Liar! but her kids aren’t really “kids” anymore, in their 20’s and 30’s, so I’ll forgive her the fib.)

Me: “Oh, my kids are too old for coloring books.”

Sales dude 2: “You GIRLS have kids?!”

(Yes, it’s lovely being condescended to by someone young enough to be my son younger brother.)

No luck with the coloring books, so they pull out their next super special sale item, a set of knives.

Sales dude 1: “We have this really great knife set, normally on sale for $40, but since you’re our last stop, we’ll give you two whole sets for just $40.”

(Everything with these guys is “great;” they really need to work on their adjectives. What about superlative? Deluxe? Majestic? Fabulous? Wonderful? Divine? Grand? Marvelous? Nifty?, Sensational? Splendid? Terrific?)

Us: “No thank you.”

They leave, wishing us well, and head to the bar next door. Ten seconds later they cross the street to the attorney’s office. I’m betting they had little luck there, too.

What I really wanted to ask was “Who came up with the excellent peddling combo of coloring books and knives?”

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3 Responses to “Rattles and rifles? Pacifiers and rat poison?”

  1. East Bluff Barbie Says:

    When they try to peddle knifes ask if they are easily cleaned. Then ask if how well they cut bone. Then ask if they get slippery when blood soaked. If this doesn’t get them scared, they are earned the price of the knifes!

  2. Cory Says:

    I’m surprised they didn’t go to the remote control cars next. I was at TnT’s a couple years ago when one of those people came in. One was pushing coloring books and candles while the other one was driving a remote control car all over the restaurant. There really is nothing quite so annoying as the whine of an electric motor at 1230 in the afternoon after staying up until 6 in the morning the night before. I kicked the car. They left.

  3. idonotknowme Says:

    I cannot believe there are still door-to-door salesmen. How many sales can they possibly generate? I suppose they wouldn’t keep doing it if it wasn’t profitable, but who buys something they weren’t even looking for from some guy that just shows up out of the blue?

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