DB

When I was young I rarely swore. I had this hoity toity idea that it made one sound stupid, that it showed a lack of command of the English language. Lately, I’ve been letting the “Damn!’s” fly; I’ve also grown to love the word “douche bag,” a term I used to cringe at and blush upon hearing. It’s just so apt, it catches the essence of a plethora of modern celebrities.
Criss Angel: Magical douche bag!
Donald Trump: Douche bag prick.
Kevin Federline: Dime bag douche bag.
The list continues….
Tom Cruise: Controlling douche bag.
Sean (P. Diddy? Puffy?) Combs: Self important douche bag.
Marc Anthony: Rat faced douche bag.
Danny Bonaduce: douche bag douche bag (okay, somehow that makes sense to me; he’s twice the douche bag all in one red headed, creepy package.)

Now that I’m composing the list, it seems odd that a feminine hygiene product seems to exclusively apply to men…. and really, why is it a pejorative? Substitute tampon or maxipad for douche bag and it loses all appeal. (Except for the Marc Anthony one, rat faced maxi pad does have a bit of a ring to it.)

Since this is an EOB (equal opportunity blog) I should add some women to my list:
Elisabeth Hasselback: Self righteous, whiny douche bag.
Britney Spears: Skanky douche bag. (Ooooo… I don’t want to think too much about that one; it’s a pretty disgusting mental picture.)
Heather Mills: Paranoid, self-aggrandizing douche bag. (You would have to see her Matt Lauer interview to get this one “Matt, thousands of people’s and animal’s lives depend on me!”)

So, who would you nominate for the douche bag hall of fame?

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3 Responses to “DB”

  1. jenjw4 Says:

    I was IMing my dear friend Secret Server this morning and she was like “I just read your blog and it’s…. Ummm…..MEAN.” So I just wanted to clarify, this isn’t referring to a vitriolic “Douche bag” but more of a slightly scornful, muttered “douche bag.” If that makes it any better. (Oh, and I never say it in front of my kids.)

  2. East Bluff Barbie Says:

    I absolutely love the word douche bag!! I think there are way too many of them in the world to name them on one blog!;)

  3. jadedgirl Says:

    MY Douchebag of the era goes to: (drum roll please)

    George W. Bush.

    Nuff said.

    Sorry…had to say it.

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