Our morning routine pre-job loss:
My husband got up with the kids. I stayed in bed until they left. I talked to no one, listened to the Today show, then got up, showered, dressed, grabbed a Lean Cuisine meal and headed out the door to work. I would get up at 7:40 and be at work at 8:00.

Now my morning routine goes like this:
Reagan’s alarm goes off. Taylor’s alarm goes off. (They used to depend on Chris waking them up, but, now he doesn’t have to get up early to iron his shirt.)
The dog runs in our room and hops on me. (Chris will be home so they don’t have to rush him outside first thing.)
I bug my remote control hogging husband to turn on the Today Show. He does, but grumbles; he’d prefer to watch FOX.
He says:
“It’s not really NEWS.”
“When is Hilary going to be on? There’s a story about her EVERYDAY.”
“Goddamn it Barack, just answer the goddamn question!”

I get up, harrangue the kids about breafkast eating, teethbrushing, backpack packing, etc. Things my husband usually handled. Grumpy the whole time, being forced to interact in the a.m.

When Chris lost his job I was dumbfounded, dismayed and distraught. But how quickly it has shifted to being about the little annoyances, the daily routine.
Sometimes I think I handle larger disruptions almost better than the smaller inconveniences. “I got fired today, that sucks;” meanwhile getting cut off in traffic can lead to a huge tirade, a story with flailing arms, foul language….

Why am I stressing about socks on the floor, dishes in the sink, when there is a mortgage to pay, kids to feed and clothe, and (typically) to spoil at the holidays?

Is this just human nature, the tendency to focus on the minor? Is it a self protective measure? I can’t figure out a way to cope with all the “what-ifs?” so I’ll focus on the “right nows?”

Did people in concentration camps think this way? Did they focus on “will the gruel be edible today?” rather than “will I die today?”

Is it a good thing or a bad thing, to be able to divorce oneself (at least in everyday life) from the larger picture?


4 Responses to “”

  1. jadedgirl Says:

    It is very easy to take the norm for granted…believe me I know. For instance (and this is NO exaggeration) I used to get my toes and fingernails done every month when I was working…because I was financially stable enough to do so, then the job loss -and suddenly I am struggling to save the money to just get a haircut. And while I know that this is such a trite example, It explains a lot about human nature. (ie) the grass is always greener…etc. Cliche’s, cliche’s…I know.
    But remember that change isn’t always a bad thing. You know I recently moved and I was grumbling incessantly about the new house…how I thought it was too small, too cramped, dumpy looking…etc. And then once I got here…I actually LOVE it. Yes…it is small, Yes, the outside could use some work. But I have windows in my livingroom, a small kitchen that requires less cleaning, and my son LOVES his new room. This place actually feels like a home and not just a house.
    I don’t know if this helps you much, but it’s with love that I try to encourage you to keep your head up as you have done for me in the past. It will all work out, Jen!
    In the immortal words of a great 80’s arena rock band- “Don’t Stop Believeing!”

    Love and encouragement always-

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  3. Jeep2000 Says:

    I am the same way. Larger crises I typically take in stride, but the smaller ones pile up and make me blow my top.
    And it made me laugh, my husband is the same way: FOX News all the way, while I’m for the Today Show. He says it isn’t real news, but he tolerates it pretty well.
    Best wishes during this tough time.

  4. idonotknowme Says:

    FOXNEWS is the best. I wish I was home during the morning when Megyn Kelly is on. I love her.

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