Reagan ran into my bedroom last night and said “MOM! I’m 2/3rds done.” Uh? with what? “You’re two thirds done with me! I’m 12, I’m going to move out when I’m 18, so there’s only another 1/3 to go!”

If only it were so easy.

I vividly remember going into Kroger’s on my first solo outing after Reagan was born. Such freedom, walking down the aisles without a newborn and a 1 year old in tow. I could look through my coupons, scan the per ounce prices, gaze lovingly at the bakery cakes my budget and diet couldn’t afford. No whining, crying or diaper changes, it was heaven. Until I was exiting the store and a poster caught my eye. Missing: 18 year old girl. Dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin, an older version of my newborn daughter. Travelling home from college, she had vanished. Tears welled up. I couldn’t move. I just stood
and cried.
I had loved my children from the moment I knew they existed.
But this was the moment that it struck me,
How utterly devastating it must be to lose a child.
And, how I would, for the rest of my life, worry about them. Their health, their happiness, their safety.


5 Responses to “”

  1. Cory Says:

    …which is exactly why I called my mom to tell her I was OK before I called the police the other morning when I got in the wreck. I’m 27 and she still worries about me, even though I’ve been living on my own for six years.

  2. HollowSquirrel Says:

    Did you tell Reagan to read this post? My mom used to tell me the same thing (what you wrote, not what Reagan said!). And the weird thing is I know a few people whose parents were like “you’re on your own at 18. Give back the house keys. And if you want to come home ever, you need to ask permission (for like Thanksgiving, etc.).” Can you believe that? UGH. I know I shouldn’t want this, and I won’t later, but (for now) I just want Jojo to live with us FOREVER. Yes, I know that’s silly.

  3. jenjw4 Says:

    You are such a good son.

  4. jadedgirl Says:

    It was great to meet you last night, finally!

    Have a great week!


  5. Says:

    Great article.
    I guess you’ll link to my page..
    See ya

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