Friday afternoon, I received an email from my husband that said:

“I got fired today. I’m at home working on that.”

Yes, that was the sum total of the email, no explanation.

It was a really fun afternoon at work, knowing my husband just got fired, that we have little savings, and the kids’ birthdays and Christmas are all right around the corner.

He is going in today for his exit interview. Friday he was told by his boss that it was because he had lied about having an interview with another employer. (My husband has been looking for another job for a couple of months, and has had a couple of interviews, but had not yet taken another job, trying to make things work with his current employer because he really loves his clients.)

Saturday, panicking, I went into Peoria and applied for a couple of part time jobs at the Shoppes at Grand Prarie. (Not at Bar Louie). Taylor and his friend J. came with me; I sent them off to ogle HALO 3 at one of the video game stores and headed into a store to apply. After filling out an app, I wondered through the mid-sized store, and upon reaching the exit I realized that Taylor and Jake were behind me. They said “Wow, we’ve been following you around for 15 minutes and you didn’t even notice us!” There were three employees working at the store, including the manager, very few customers (it was early and the store is new) so I’m sure they noticed that the middle aged woman applying for a job has two teenaged stalkers, and that she is apparently so unobservant that she didn’t notice their presence. Nice.

Then we headed across the street so I could apply at Starbucks. I talked to the guy working at the counter and he was really nice. We joked some and he said “you have to be crazy to work here” and I said “good, then I’m a good fit.” The application was interesting, it had a spot to put “Other names you are known by” so I put “Hambone.” (seriously, I don’t know what I was thinking, other than “heee, heee”)

Upon arriving home, Taylor’s friend W. passed me a note that said:

As probably the most trusted adult in my life, I feel that there are things I want you to know, and ask for some favors. In my situation some adult support will make things easier. I did not know how to put this into conversation
To put it simply, I’m gay, if you didn’t know before. I’ve been battling it for the last 3 years. I knew I was different at a very young age. I feel fully comfortable revealing this to you. Taylor has known for the last few weeks and has been very accepting about it…. I feel like I need to put this behind me so as to have one less challange in my life.
Before I came to your house this evening, I put a letter in my own mail box for my mother to read when she gets back. She has been very prejudiced towards gays all of her life and I put tons of information along with the letter to perhaps change her mind otherwise. At the moment, I do not feel comfortable going home and if it is okay with you, I would like to stay until tomorrow evening. Also, I would really like it if you would come talk to my mom about this when I return. I’m not sure I can face her alone and I think you can give her a better explanation. This is all your own decision.”

WOW. Wow. wow. I feel so honored that a child felt comfortable enough with me to trust me. To come to me for advice and help.
But, I was also filled with fear. Afraid I wouldn’t be able to adequately help W. That I would stumble over words, that I would cry. My biggest fear was that W.’s mom would reject him. That my reassurances to him, that his mother loves him, that she might already know, that she might handle the news much better than he expects would be wrong. That she would reject him as being less than, as being perverted, for something he has no control over.

I prepared so many speeches in my mind, all boiling down to one main point:
“D., W. is a wonderful boy, smart, empathetic, kind and funny; his sexuality has nothing to do with any of that, and doesn’t change anything about the boy you love.”
W. (and I, to an obviously lessor degree) waited anxiously all night Saturday and all day Sunday, for his mother to call or stop by. (even though he had asked her not to in the letter). Waiting until 4:00, the self appointed time he was going to go home, with me in tow, was excrutiating. W. was living with the fear of rejection, that his mother would be unaccepting, that she would no longer love him, that she would hate this aspect of her child. I can’t imagine having such a burden as a thirteen year old.
Luckily, 3:30 Sunday afternoon, his cell rang and went to voice mail. It was his mother. She sounded overwhelmed, distraught, but not angry. She said she loves him, he is her son, and that they would talk when he got home. So he went home without me.
I tried to call him later that evening, to see how it went, but he didn’t answer. I’m crossing my fingers, waiting to hear anything and hoping that everything is okay. It was a crazy weekend, but the stress about W. reminded me that a lost job isn’t the end of the world, some people face much larger issues.


6 Responses to “Fired”

  1. jadedgirl Says:

    Wow…let us know what happens there, thats pretty deep stuff. Good luck to W, and you!


  2. diane vespa Says:

    “Wow”, all I can say is “Wow”! Isn’t life amazing? This post touches me on so many levels. I pray for “W”, but something tells me the level of love his Mother has for him will not change. Of course, it will be a life changing experience for all of them and hopefully the adults in this young man’s life will take the high road and make sure that the resulting changes are all positive. And further, I am so sorry for the stress you must be feeling over the loss of hubby’s job. What a lame excuse for his firing. Don’t we all have the right to improve our circumstances for ourselves and our families? It’s probably a blessing in disguise that he no longer has to work for that awful company. Please keep us posted on yours (and his) situation!

  3. jenjw4 Says:

    W. said his talk with his mom went “okay” but that she said his dad will be devastated, so that’s a bummer. Hopefully, though, his home life will be okay, and it should be a weight off his shoulders, not to feel like he’s walking around with a big secret.

    My husband has had 3 job interviews so far. Crossing my fingers that one will work out. (Hopefully one with Saturdays off!).

  4. East Bluff Barbie Says:

    How hard that was for W. to do! I can only hope that if one of my three sons felt that way they would be able to come to me without fear or anxiety.

    I hope your husband can find a job that will make him happy. It isn’t easy, that is for sure! Employers today can be so shitty because they think employees are a dime a dozen.

  5. jadedgirl Says:

    I am glad to hear that his mother was so accepting, and I truly hope that his father can get over his issues and accept him as well. I applaud you jen for being so kindhearted and accepting of him as well…the world needs more people like you out there. And I hope hubby comes out OK with the job as well. Cheers to W, and much love to you and your family.


  6. Polaroid T737 Says:

    Hello the comment is funny.
    I will definitely read your diary..

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